Thanksgiving...

Well, tomorrow is Thanksgiving and I know we have so much to be thankful for. This holiday is a little bit overwhelming. I can't believe it is already here. Where did all the time go.
I have been imagining that I would see my mom and she would say "surprise" but that is just wishful thinking. If only that could really happen. I know all the right things to think..like "mom would want us to be happy and live our life" and "don't worry, she is in a better place" and "we will see her again one day". I know all those things are true but then the truth hits me...she is not here NOW. I want to see her face when she sees Ellie and hugs her after she did something to make her excited or when Gabe says "mommom". Those are the things that I won't experience anymore and the kids won't either. What is really sad is that Gabe looks at her picture now and calls her "mimi". She is not his Mimi..she was his "MOMMOM". I try to correct him and he did say "mommom" at one time. I know he will never get to know Mommom and that just breaks my heart because she was such a wonderful person inside and out. I just couldn't sleep last night and I just layed in bed hoping to close my eyes and see her or dream about her.
Ellie told me today that she misses her and she looks in the sky to see her but she can't find her. She wanted to know why she is not here anymore..and I told her that God needed her in heaven and she said..."God gave her wings so she could fly there". I said...Yep, that is right. Ellie remembers everything and she amazes me everyday.
Well, we are going to Aunt Alice's house tomorrow for Thanksgiving (my mom's sister) and this will be our first year eating at her house. We hope to start a new tradition. I still don't know what we plan on doing for Christmas. My dad had to go out of town with work all week but Thank God his job let him come home for Thanksgiving so we can all be together. I wouldn't want to have Thanksgiving without him. I would be crushed. That is one thing I thank god for everyday..."my family". There is no love like the love of your family. Well, I guess I need my rest and I better get to bed.
OH yea..my nephew corey has been here since Monday night and he has helped me out so much. He has been playing with Ellie outside on the swing and he also sits on the couch with Gabe and Ellie next to him. They are so cute together. I wish I would have gotten pictures.
shame on me...:(
Well, I will write more later.
Love to all,
Lizzy

Happy Thanksgiving!!!